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Do We Get Along? Sign-by-Sign


Gonzo Astrology — I encountered the term “gonzo journalism” sometime back in the late 1970s, and it influenced me enough to call my old racing team, “F & L Racing.” It stood for Fear & Loathing, an obvious allusion to the work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson that has influenced a great deal of what I have encountered.

Now the term, Gonzo Journalism, might have been merely a marketing label applied to certain small branch of writing emerging from a turbulent era of history, but the definition, as I understand it, means “journalism with no perspective on the subject at all.”

I use the term to describe the kind of astrology that I practice. I have a chart. The person that I’m reading for has a chart. The two charts interact, much like a compatibility profile, or a synastry analysis. No two ways about it, either, not to me. I’ve encountered a number of astrologers who all try to remain objective and do deep psychological work with astrology. That’s nice; works for them. The information is certainly there, but this is humanity and most clients are looking for two big questions to be answered: “When will I find a relationship?” and “Will this relationship work out all right?”

What you hold in your hand is a text that attempts to demythologize some arcane astrology stuff and make it all simple. Look, Astrology is a sacred science and a viable art form, practiced for the last couple of millennia, and now it’s up to you to figure a little bit of this out, and how you can make it work for you. Pretty simply put, Astrology is a language, a set of signs and metaphors. How these signs interact is kind of like putting a puzzle together. This text isn’t about some of the arcane subsets of astrology, it isn’t about how the psychological process works. It’s about “Girl meets boy, girl gets boy, girl loses boy” and why that happens. Which ones stick around, which ones don’t, and what are the odds on making it work?

I’ve covered Texas from the New Mexico border to the Deep East Texas Bayous, from Oklahoma to the Gulf Coast and Mexico, and I figure that this includes a fair representation of humanity as we all understand it. Some of my allusions and references are drawn from literature while other sources include day–to–day activities associated with living in Texas.

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Virgo guys

VirgoVirgo — poor Virgo, much maligned as the neat–freak perfectionist of the zodiac. Which they usually are, but they do arrive in two flavor: neat and messy. Ruled, more or less, by Mercury. Mutable Earth signs, great for cleaning fish. Although they make great bean counters, don’t let them divvy up the check at the truck stop, as that one waitress you’ve been hittin’ on? She won’t get much of a tip from your Virgo buddy.

Grocery store: If you go grocery shopping with a Virgo, be prepared to read the labels. Or be prepared for the Virgo to read the labels. The packaging itself doesn’t matter, it’s what’s inside that counts, and this is what the Virgo seeks to find out.

Shopping, after midnight: Ever been shopping with a Virgo? Ever thoughts about the number of times someone can squint at a label, and wonder just exactly what part of which animal those things came from? Imagine the scientific curiosity at work here. There’s another problem, though, and one that suggest the results are not all in yet, that this an area which is going to require further research. “I’m not going in a Wal–Mart, please don’t make me go there,” I heard one Virgo girl whine. Good stuff, cheap, didn’t quite work on her. The results are still up for study, as of right now. And most of the Virgo girls I know wouldn’t be up after midnight, anyway, not if there was something else to do, like sleep.

Brick wall: When a Virgo encounters a fixed, immovable obstacle, there is but one solution. First, this brick wall must be disassembled, one grain of mortar at a time. And each single grain of sand that makes up this wall needs to be properly stored and labeled so that it can be reassembled later. Or so that whoever caused this obstacle can be found out and blamed. In any case, the Virgo will assure that this is all done perfectly.

Bait: Crappie Spin “it isn’t just for Crappie, Smallmouth love it too!” –– This is a special lure, designed just for Crappie, but guess what? Smallmouth love it, too. And that’s why it works for Virgo fish: the utilitarian nature of this lure will always attract that ever so practical, but mutable, Virgo. It’s a perfect fit. Besides, just about every Virgo has a taste for the unusual –– that’s why this dual–purpose bait works so well.

Body part: Viscera.


Aries Female and Scorpio

Scorpio: Think about it, first. Think long and hard before you succumb to the ultimate in seductive attractions in the zodiac, the Scorpio male. Think about what you might be getting yourself into. While I’ve seen this be a successful relationship from time to time, I’ve also seen the innate problems associated with this coupling.

The Scorpio male is steamy, sensual, full of depth, with a hint of sexual tension in everything he does. It’s in his walk, his talk, that undercurrent of passion to jump to a cliché—“Still waters run deep,” and to further that expression, it’s also rather cold on the bottom. The problem is that the Scorpio tends to hold something back, keep something in reserve and this can grate on the straightforward Aries. With just about any Scorpio, you’re going to find, occasionally, that you’re right there, trying to pull information out of him. That’s the problem.

One Scorpio I know claims he “just looks like I’ve got a secret” even though there’s really nothing there. It’s the threat, or the likelihood, or the intent. This Scorpio foreshadowing isn’t all bad, it’s just way they are wired together. And it doesn’t doom this relationship by any means, it just makes for some times when the communication process can get bogged down with languages. The Scorpio fellow might be actually expressing his heartfelt thoughts and the Aries, because they are of a different school of communication, might be hearing a load of rubbish. Same words, it’s all in the delivery.

Will it work? Sure. Are there some problems? In my best Scorpio voice, “Maybe.” The Aries has nothing up her sleeve, no hidden agenda. The Scorpio might always carry the illusion that’s there is something up his sleeve, even if there’s nothing there.

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Virgo female and Pisces male

Pisces: The Pisces is a curious creature because it never knows what version of reality it’s standing in…. In other words, clueless fits these guys pretty well. And Virgo is opposite Pisces on the great wheel in the sky. That could mean trouble, in more than one way.

From the FGS files, I’ve discovered that a Pisces can get along with just about anyone. So much for the good news. The Virgo female is usually a bit demanding about just what it is that she wants, and that’s going to make some trouble for the Pisces male. See: Pisces have their own little drum machine going in their heads right now. It’s not a tune that you or I can hear. Maybe Elvis can hear it, but there’s no way to validate that information. And this little drum machine is giving that Pisces a rhythm beat which is different from the ones which either you or I listen to.

Pisces play by their own rules, and these rules frequently contradict what the other 11 signs consider to be normal. In order to make this relationship work, understand your target a little better. Mutable Water sign. Go and study up on Pisces. In fact, look a at Neptune, too, because that’s one of the planets closely affiliated with Pisces.

Pisces have this huge spiritual gift, and more than likely, like any good Virgo, you can sense this gift. And it drives you to a distraction when you realize that he’s just not using it right. If he would only do things your way….


Virgo woman and Capricorn man

Capricorn: Two Earth signs like this are supposed to be a heavenly match. So much for the good news. The problem comes from too much “sun sign astrology” which suggests that these two signs will definitely get along. In fact, in my own mind, I think these signs should get along. In the real world, though, there seems to be some problems.

Let’s face it, the Virgo Female demands the very best. Nothing short of perfection is too good for her. And the Capricorn guy will often feel the same way. The problem begins when the two get into the complex inner workings of a Capricorn mind. Although he’s an earth sign, he isn’t always grounded in reality. And although he’s an earth sign, he isn’t always serious, despite that look on his face. He will keep you entertained, and that’s a positive attribute, but he will always employ a certain amount of self–deprecating humor. To that fine Virgo analytical mind, only so much of that droll funny stuff works. After a while, you’re going to get tired of listening to him slam himself—even if it’s “just a joke.”

There is one area where the two signs have an exquisite harmony, and that has to do with physical beauty and the resulting events. In other words, the physical side of the relationship is bound to be good. Most Capricorn’s are noted for their stamina, and most Virgo’s are very demanding. If you get the picture, and I’m sure you do.
Will it work? The books all say that it will. Lighten up on being a Virgo, and allow that Capricorn a chance to be the entertainer he likes to be, and you’ll find that this can actually work out.

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Pisces girl and Pisces guy

PiscesPisces: It wasn’t supposed to work. It wasn’t a good idea. But that’s never stopped a Pisces because, let’s face it, a Pisces can make anything work if they want to.

I’ve seen this unlikely relationship actually work better than most because of the similarity between the basic compassionate nature of both parties. Not long ago, I ran into a Pisces pair, and it was wonderful. Happy, blissful, and probably not very well grounded, but then, like I’ve suggested before, reality might be a little overrated. It’s not like this relationship between two Pisces is not based in the real world, it’s just that the average Pisces can usually detect a minimum of four dimensions, as compared to the three that most of us work with. Maybe four, maybe five, maybe, hey, who’s bothering to count, and isn’t that numbering system just an artificial way of trying to impose one kind of order on their version of reality, anyway? See? It just doesn’t matter to a Pisces.

There’s one problem with this idyllic scenario. Occasionally, a Pisces guy will try to interrupt this dreamlike state by injecting some of the normal, day–to–day reality stuff. Don’t let him do it. Doesn’t work, and those concerns will gradually lift, given enough time.

If it is a Pisces and Pisces relationship, though, consult an astrologer, I can think of one I would recommend, and see what he has to say about moon signs for you two. That’s going to be an important issue in this relationship because dear sweet Pisces can be so sensitive.


Pisces girl and Aquarius guy

PiscesAquarius: Oh no. Oh yes. Maybe. It’s not a relationship without some merit, and to be truthful, I’ve seen it successful more often than not. But there is a small problem with an Aquarius male, and that goes back to the basic difficulty with the Aquarius sign itself: aloof, apart, different, diffident. But no sooner is that said, than the Aquarius, rising to the bait of the situation, sets out to prove us all wrong. And that’s where this relationship can work.

AquariusIt depends on a few elements in a chart, not just the sun sign alone, but with an Aquarian male, you’ve got a chance. The chance depends on his ability to transcend the innate difficulties associated with this sign. And, to a large part, this is also dependent on the compassion and understanding of the Pisces. Equivocate your needs. Explain what you want. Ask for what you want. Ask for a little more than you need, too. This insures that you get some of what you want. Remember that the Aquarius male loves his brain, and brain games are the best way to hook them up.

There’s a refreshing and unusual quality found in this sign’s basic make up. Don’t be afraid to reverse roles, either. It’s also a sign that depends on certain immutable desires. Be very careful before putting big changes into action. Tread carefully, but don’t be afraid to walk.

Get used to the fact that he’s “thinking about it” at the moment. He will demonstrate his care and concern eventually. Maybe not fast enough, but with good communication, this is workable.


Pisces girl and Capricorn guy

Capricorn: To be honest, I have to love both these signs. There is a quality, though, in this relationship that might cause some problems on that long and lonely highway of life. In fact, as long as you are dating a Capricorn guy, you’re going to feel like the Highway Department has abandoned maintenance on this section of the road. The road with a Capricorn is long, it winds around a bit, and there are some pretty big potholes. In fact, on more than one occasion, you’re going to find your sweet Pisces self wondering just when you turned off the Freeway of Love and headed down this rock strewn, obstacle laden dirt road of Capricorn land.

It’s not always that bad. If you were a car, though, I would see a Pisces as a Cadillac, not Jeep or similar all–terrain vehicle. Ever notice that a disproportionate number of Texas Ranchers prefer the Cadillac brand over any other vehicle? Know why? It’s a tough car. It can take the abuse that even an old truck sometimes can’t take. That’s one tough car. And because you’re a Pisces, not only are you tough, but you’re pretty, too. Just like that fancy sedan.

The problem with this relationship is that question, are you actually up to the task of taming a Capricorn guy? That’s the positive spin. The bad news is that you’re not sure you want to be up for the taming of this guy. That’s the negative spin. It’s like that dirt road of love, it’s not all smooth–sailing. The ride can be rough at times. In fact, there are times when you might get despondent and just want to turn back. The problem with a Capricorn guy is that this is a narrow road, and when it gets to be the worst possible conditions, you’re going to find that there is no place to turn around. No way out. And backing down that road is even worse than trying to push on.

If you are involved with a Cap guy, make sure that you have a tow–rope. Make sure you carry a shovel, maybe some extra supplies. It can be very good. There will be days, maybe even long stretches like that bit of road in West Texas that doesn’t have a curve for over hundred miles. Then there will be the detours. The potholes, the washboard surfaces, those sorts of things. It’s both good and bad, and it depends on what kind of luxury you demand in your relationship that determines the quality of this ride.