Aquarius guys: This sign used to be ruled by Saturn until Uranus came along, quit making butt jokes. It’s the sign of the “Black Hat” These are outlaws of the zodiac. It’s really an air sign, too, and stubborn, at that. They never fish with the right bait, but they wind up with the biggest catch. Like I said, Outlaws to the very end of it. While everyone else names their boat after a girlfriend, these guys have big, black boats with serious depth fish computer-aided Bass demographic devices on board. And the boat’s name is usually something like, “Killer.”
Grocery store: “Why must you do this to me?” asks the Aquarius. In my limited observation over the past 20 years, what I’ve seen more often than not, is that an Aquarius in a grocery store buys hardware. You know, a cooler for the upcoming picnic, maybe some lawn furniture. However, that same Aquarius will go to the department store and find foodstuffs to buy. So if you’re going to go shopping with an Aquarius, be prepared for a little bit of a change up. It’s not going to be the way that you think it’s supposed to be.
Shopping at midnight: This one is easy because it’s just like the grocery store, and, in fact, I have more data about Aquarius in Wal-Mart at two in the morning than I care to. Groceries and car parts. And maybe some food for the pets. The Aquarius will also have a certain aloof behavior towards going in Wal-Mart; however, this gradually slips into a sense of merriment when you encounter all the strange things that inhabit a super store after the normal hours of business. The Aquarius is looking for a few food items, and maybe a new alternator for the truck. All at the same time. Perhaps this isn’t what most people do at 2 in the morning, but this fits the Aquarian schedule just fine. Maybe a little spray paint, too, because they are going to need to leave a message soon.
Brick wall: Don’t forget that Aquarius is a fixed sign. No news here. So when an Aquarius encounters a brick wall, they whip out a can of spray paint and leave a graffiti message on it. Perhaps this message is a suggestion that might be anatomically impossible, or, at the very least, rather uncomfortable. Still, the message will be properly punctuated and spelled correctly. Do anything about it? That’s not the Aquarius’s job, they are busy dealing with other problems by the time you read the writing on the wall.
Bait: Rattlin’ Rogue — this is a super–duper, time–tested lure that works better than anything else. Besides, with a name like Rogue, you know that there is something special about this lure that will definitely catch your fish. Better yet, the Aquarius fish is always drawn towards a roguish display of humors, as some would say. And the top water action of this lure is bound to attract the eye, and the mind, of the Aquarius. And if you catch his eye and mind, then you’ve got an Aquarius, hook line and sinker.
Body part: Ankles, calves, lower leg.